Today was my longest day in recent memory. Nice to know it'll be my Tuesday/Thursday for the entire semester. As the title insists I'm feeling a bit too lazy to write anything, so here's an old post I found on my computer. It was 3AM at the time. Take that into account. Oh yeah, it's fucking long too. You get 10 life points if you read it all.
Sometimes I get sick to my stomach if I stay up to late, but then I think, "hey, if I was to awake to a zombie survival situation, I'd probably have bigger fish to fry." Which gets me thinking about fish. Fish have scales right, and they go one way. Good for water and things. I wonder if you took a fish and ran it backwards really fast in water it would suck in a bunch of water and explode. Probably not, but it's the thought that counts. I can count. I think. I'm not too sure on that, but damn is apple juice good. I'm quite sure of that. But on the other hand, you have different fingers. And my phone sucks. Or maybe it's this apartment that sucks. It has ultry cell phone blocking powers. Oh... oh wait.... wait for it.... here it comes... no... wait for it... yup, my phone sucks. If I went by the date on my phone right now, it'd be Ma(half an r, the stick part)04 2:5(part of a 3) and then some unledgible gibberish that I assume says AM. I can only assume because it's still dark. But you knew that anyways. Speaking of knowing things, I wish I knew where the USB connector was for my camera, I've got pictures on that thing from the Kennedy Assasination and I need to dump them. Only not at all. Empty cheesnip bags should be full. All the time. Except for the salt, and the need for more apple juice. It's a need I've come to know quite well over the last three and a half minutes. I could get more, but that would require fucking effort. Effort's a bitch, let me tell you. No, I'm lazy, figure it out for yourself. Speaking of you, stop faping so much, no, it's not supposed to look like barney after a bad beesting. Leave it alone man. Just, let it be. Like that stupid beatles song. The Shitty Beatles... are they any good? No they suck! Oh, then it's not just a clever name. People think they're clever, but they're not. Speaking of not, I wish I had a bag full of doorknobs. Especially for the freshmen in my instrument groundlab. Sometimes, when they talk, I imagine that their brains are seeping out their ears, and it's my civic duty to hit them as hard as humanly possible to keep them from dying. It's a good thought to have to, cause I might be confronted with that situation some day and need to know what to do. I'll have the proceadure all mapped out, TOGA power in my fist motherbitch, imo. Or something to that effect. I'm not too sure, sleep should be in my future, but it's not. Sleep and I are fighting, imo. Although it usually wins during the daytime, when I have actual shit I should be doing. Unlike now, unlike this very moment, where staring at the hat switch on my joystick could provide hours of entertainment. My joystick has more dust on it than Mickey Rooney's cervix. I don't know what that means but I laughed like a little girl as I wrote it. Speaking of little girls, what the hell is their problem. You put it in their ass and they're all like... eh, nevermind, I fucked up the joke. I think it's funny because you're not supposed to know it's a little girl in the first place. Could be, but I'm not so sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Remember that shitty deoderant. Charles Barkley was the spokesperson for a while, imo. Why. Why. Why. Why. Excuse me, buy deoderant, I'm bald, black, and used to be good at basketball. Oh wait, you're useless. And I'm not buying your deoderant, no matter how much shitty white residue it doesn't leave on my armpits. And then there's always this black model at then end, to come snuggle up to charles and be intensly pleased on how good his armpits smell. He should snap her neck. Then I'd buy it. "Hi I'm charles barkley, look it goes on clear." "ooh charles you're so" *SNAP* HAHA BITCH, SMELL MY ARMPITS WILL YOU? I'M CHARLES BARKLEY, I'M BALD, WHY AM I SELLING DEODERANT? I'm not too sure what got charles that gig, but he should've stuck to whateve he was doing before, like being a genie. Wait, backstep, that was Shack. With a q. Although that was one of the dumbest movies ever, it had one of the best lines ever. Interesting how that happens. The kid walks in and hits the boombox by accident. Why is it a boombox anyways, that's not stereotypical or anything. You know what... they should just, I'm not racist. Nevermind. That one would've gotten me 15 free "off to hell here's your hydraulic dildo" points. Anyways, the kid hits the box, and mr. I want slavery back wages comes out and does all this ultra gay bad 90's special effects shit. And then he says "I am kazaam" and the kid says "yeah, well I'm really happy for you" and runs away. This was one of the few times in modern history where the "I'm really happy for you" line struck the golden harp of the funny in exactly the right place. It was well positioned well thought out, and the deleveiertdhlw ;aoife wewef what the fuck I'm talkign about Kazaam. It's like Kazaa only shittier. Kind of hard to do, imo. Kazaa lite is now running in my little task bar. It's not doing anything, it's just sitting there. Sometimes I think, well I might think of a song I want to download, so I should put it there. Although it's probably banging my system resources like a 2 dollar ridgewood hooker. I might've spelled that wrong. I'll get people on that. Back to people. Tag Team's musical masterpiece Whoomp There It Is will always have a place on my Hard Drive. It is one of the best things ever to break through the earth and go, "Here I am motherbitch, listen to me" and then executes a snap role headache punch. I just put a hand to hand combat move and an aircraft maneuver together to form an attack. Maybe that's how they got the idea for Power Rangers. That show fucking blows. Stop making more of them. I'm so serious. Who are these people Bandai or something. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Like that kid in my ground lab. Go work for Bandai or something. Or stick your penis in a blast furnace. And tape it. Not like duct tape, more like video tape it. Interesting we still say "tape it" even though if there is any tape involved, it's probably a bondage fetish porn. Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking the bondage fetish porns, it's just that, what happened to Beta. I was all excited about it, only not at all, I just made that up. Speaking of making things up, what was up with my little pony. Those dolls fucking sucked. They didn't even move. You just had to bounce them up and down to pretend like they were running. Well my toys ran, ran right over those nancy bitches with their my little pony's. I wish I knew enough to give them my little pony. That was the worst sexual euphemism ever. I refuse to ever refer to a private part again as a little pony. Maybe a unicorn, but that's a whole different side of the table. Unicorn reminds me of corn on the cob. That shit is dangerous. Well, maybe not dangerous, but sometimes if you bite it it could get caught in your teeth. And then you try to get it out with your tounge so much that your tounge actually becomes tired. So you bust out the mirror. Did I mention you were driving in a car? No? well you are, so you take out the mirror and little do you know there's a crippled veteren in front of your car. You squeech the breaks but it's of no use. But then you realise it's not really a crippled veteran, it's a hippy. So you go back to your corn in your teeth. That's exactly what you'd do. Don't even fucking back off that one. If you had a million five you'd be happy to see simba at work every day. There wouldn't even be a little "ooops was that a speedbump?" joke to go along with it. My right hand seems to be failing me. It cannot take this much continuous typing. And strangely enough my right eye also seems to be failing. It's tearing up something fierce and trying to close on me. I feel like rocky. Only I'm not sylvester stalone thank god jesus buddu dhali lama quarter horse. Chief sittle quarter horse. Who the fuck buys a quarter horse. I honestly don't know. It's smaller than a regular horse. Well thank you very much, do I look like a midget? I'm not so sure. I don't think so. How about that apple juice. My stomach still kind of hurts a little.
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