I'm a playa.

But only in fringe meanings of the phrase.

And by fringe I'm in no way making a golf joke. Because those are terrible.

Have you ever run out of beer and had to drive 300 feet across the street to the liquor store owned by Russian immigrants. You probably haven't, but I just did.

There was an annoying piece to the story. It's the part where my truck kept beeping because I didn't have my seatbelt on. What a pompous piece of shit. Who are you to tell me my seatbelt is off. You're a piece of fucking machinery. I'm the person in this position. I know my seatbelt is off. Where's the "I don't care stop making fucking noise" button? I realize this paragraph is slightly irresponsible while I talk to the children of the world. But hopefully at this point they know not to read this.

I'm not exactly sure why I started this post. Without reading what I just wrote I'm sure it has something to do with Russians. They're the root of everything that makes me pissed. Except that one movie. Forget what it was. Regardless. How my typing remains flawless while thoroughly hammered still escapes me.

You should watch DragonForce. Because, I don't know. It's like an 80's band was frozen. And now they've been thawed in our time to turn it up to 11.

Rock out with your smock out.