C is for Crackhead

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Today Commercial Upright would like to present to you a theory...

My physics professor is on fucking crack.

No one who is teaching in a field of this kind should be in lala land as much as this guy is. The things he says make you shake your head and make that face like, wtf.

Example 1:
"Gas is a really strange thing, only it isn't. But it's easier to talk about if you had a magic bag. Imagine a magic bag full of xeon gas. Now imagine we put a fire under it. Not too hot though, cause we don't want to burn our magic bag."

Ok, if we're out in fucking narnia crafting magic bags, why the shit is there some sort of restriction on how much heat can be put on it. If I had a magic bag, it could take as much heat as it damn wanted to, and then would say to the other magic bag, "Hold my beer while I fuck your girlfriend."

Example 2:

"You guys know the elevator in Spruance Hall?... No?... Ok, well how about the one in the Lehman Building? Yes? Ok, can you fit fifteen people into it? Sure you could, but you probably wouldn't want to stay there for more than thirty minutes. And what if all the people were dancing? Someone's bound to get an elbow in the ear. And you'd better make sure you're dancing with a member of the appropriate opposite sex. Anyways, for the lecture today..."

...

...

I shit you not. No comment.

Example 3:

"If I had a choice between getting hit by a helium atom and a cannonball, I'd probably pick the helium atom. Cause I'm pretty sure I could stop THAT with my hand!"

There are no words. And you have to understand he says this shit out of the blue. There is no context. Totally random.

I think I'm going to make Cracked out Physics Quotes a daily thing. I've started a page in the back of my notebook where I write these things down. So unless his crack supply dwindles, expect more in the future.