Don't judge me monkey.

Ever since class let out at Riddle I've noticed the hits on this thing go basically through the floor. I contemplated stopping writing for this reason, but then I realized that stats wasn't why I started doing this in the first place. I started this stupid thing so that I could get shit outta my head and put it down somewhere. This continues to be a decent out for me to place this shit, so even if no one at all reads it, I'll still write. SO WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? OH NOTHING WITH ME, I'm DOING FINE, LIKE SKIPPY PEANUT BUTTER. Yeah, don't hate me because that analogy made no sense. I'm not the one thinking about peanut butter, it's you. Why is peanut butter so much better on toast if you put regular butter on first and then peanut butter on it after. I assume it's the ridiculous amount of heart-stopping calories it adds to it. I haven't done that since I was probably in junior high, but for some reason it sprang to the forefront of my mind. I really have to urinate. But I think I'll hold it for a while. I'll bet in your entire life you've never been as bored as me. Perfect example, if for some reason you didn't read the previous bit, I'm holding my piss because it's more exciting than not holding it. That's pretty fucking sad if you ask me. And I'd conveniently be sad about it if it wasn't for the fact that I'm so fucking bored. McGriddle me this, if you had a square peg and a round hole, wouldn't you just find something better to do? Everyone's always trying to pound that shit it. I really don't get it. Personally, I'd take the third option. What is the third option you ask me? Shit, I don't know. But it's probably something between Charles Barkley and the chick that played the child emperor in the Neverending Story. I'm not gonna lie she was pretty hot when I was a little kid. I did a fair bit of internet stalking on her recently just out of curiosity and boredom. Apparently she became a dancer or something. Or maybe a figureskater. I don't really remember right at this moment, but the point is she went into tutu's instead of porn. Which was rather depressing. Well I guess you have to do what makes you happy, even if it isn't porn. Goddamn it. Ok, I seriously need to drain the dragon. It's gotten to the point where I can't even concentrate on what I'm writing seriously shit I gotta pee brb... Haha, I love taking a leak and then flushing so it hits the bottom right when I finish. As I type that I feel that what I just wrote is far too much information. That may be true, but don't sit there and fucking lie to yourself saying shit like "that game isn't fun at all". Because you aaaaand your Aunt Lucy think it's fucking fun as shit. I asked her, and presented with the options of playing the Toilet Timing game or beating Ted Kennedy with a sack full of doorknobs Aunt Lucy totally went for the TT game. From now on if I say TT game, you better fucking understand where I'm coming from. Or else me and your Aunt Lucy are gonna have to have a talk with your school councilor. Why are you always showing up to class late? Stop pulling the wings off of flies. Jesus Christ what is that growth in your pubic area? You know, questions like that. And you wouldn't like that, or for me to give your Aunt a sack full of doorknobs. That's pretty much the last choice. I once asked Harry Truman if he had a choice between the Atomic Bomb and Aunt Lucy with a sack full of doorknobs what horror he'd unleash on the world. Well, I think we all know what happened with that one. Seriously, I was like, "Harry, buddy, on one hand, we've got totally nuclear destruction and the eventual creation of every fucked up sexual fetish that will be ever known to man. Plus extra arms and shit. And on the other hand, we've got Lucy. And I'm not talking just Lucy, I'm talking Lucy with a huge burlap sack full of Home Depot's choicest brass doorknobs. I mean the ones that if you windowshopped for a few months you'd choose to put on your grandmothers 17th century Victorian house. Ones that if you turned them to enter a portal into a house of gathering you'd say, damn the heft and turnage of that doorknob was just what I'd expect out of a house of this magnitude. Do you see where this is going Harry?" Wow. Kind of went off on that one. But obviously President Truman had no choice. He dropped not only one but TWO bombs on Japan. This was far more humane than Lucy with the doorknobs. That shit would've been fucking insane. Can you imagine that woman running around fucking lashing out against people like they owed her money with a sack full of Lowes finest? Shit son, me neither. I call that my nightmares. I have pizza in my refridgerator right now. Some may see that as an asset. I'm not gonna lie, I don't. Right now I'm full as all get-out. I'm not completely sure if that's a hyphenated word. Shit, I'm not even sure if that's how you spell hyphenated. If it's spelled correctly though, it's because I had the quasi-good sense to spellcheck this shiat after I wrote it. It's pretty windy out right now. I'm supposed to fly tomorrow around one in the afternoon, but it's also supposed to be cloudy and shitty all day. So odds are I'm not flying tomorrow. Also not gonna lie, I've been drinking quite a bit. I'm a pilot, what can I say. I'm kind of banking on the fact that I wont be flying tomorrow. If the weatherman is wrong, I'm going to be one hungover pilot tomorrow afternoon. Granted I'm still completely legal, because I can technically drink for another 2 hours or so and still be legal. Doesn't that make you feel nice and safe when you're flying. Well fuck you, you don't have to be under this pressure. All you have to do is sit in the back and be all like "I'd like some peanuts please, can I have another Coke? Where's the bathroom, get me a pillow." Well fuck you. You don't know what it's like. If pilots didn't drink, there'd be a shitload more accidents, because we'd have no way to deal with all the shit... um... we have to deal with. Well, somehow we'll make it. Because that's what we do. It's just how we do.

I'm gonna go pick my nose for a while. Enjoy your time here.